As a human, it is perfectly normal to feel inadequate. Especially when you’re in a competitive surrounding. All you can see is this illusion of ‘perfection’ and ‘goals’. And you suddenly wonder,
“why can’t I live like that?”
“why can’t I have that?”
“he/she has it. I have to get one too”
Yes. Competition. It’s healthy ONLY if it lifts you up and pushes you forward. It’s healthy if you feel constantly motivated and you KNOW you wanted to achieve whatever it is you want in that moment.
But what if you can’t? What if you get tired, and wanting to take a rest but everyone else is moving forward so fast you don’t even realize you’re caught up in whatever the hell is happening. And bermulalah drama “why am I here” kind of existential questions and whatnot.
It’s unhealthy. This is where you push the restart button!
It’s YOUR life, YOUR path and YOUR happiness. Ok la sounds cliche kan but what I’m trying to say is.. don’t lose yourself trying to prove to people your worth. Just pave your way however you want it. Stop wasting years by living someone else’s life. Pace semua orang tidak sama (i remind myself this A LOT sebab I am slow hahaha)
Why am I writing about this? Because I feel that way sometimes. And I know you feel this way too sometimes. This is what I tell myself everytime. Who knows you the best? You. Who knows what your goals and dreams are? You. Don’t rely on people to make you happy, never give them the privilege of controlling your happiness. You will end up being hopeless. And before you know it, you’re all depressed and distressed.
Hidup di negara high stress level, what do you expect kan? So many expectations to meet, deadlines, responsibilities.. The key here is take you time to be alone BUT not too long. Find someone to talk to, and this someone sometimes boleh jadi orang yang tak rapat dengan kita dari dulu pun. Dan satu lagi, jangan expect dia faham. I believe NO ONE understand our problems. I repeat, not one soul understand our pain and suffering. Cuma perlu cari orang yang kita percaya dan kita tahu dia akan mendengar dengan hati terbuka. You just have to vent out to the right person. Pouring it out to the wrong person will only prolong the pain.
This post goes to whoever that is going through a rough time (because there is a lot of you, admit it) And also a reminder for myself sebab selalu stress tak tentu pasal?? (constant
Take a break. Re-evaluate you decisions. Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? Cekalkan hati. Teguhkan iman dalam diri. May Allah lift you sadness. May He shower you with blessings from every corner and grant you rizq, happiness and health. (it’s May. geddit? geddittttt??) bye
Akhir kata, Tuhan akan sentiasa buka jalan..
cuma kita yang sombong.
thanks for reading 🙂